[APG Public List] predeceased by infant children

laurie caulk beaverlbc at earthlink.net
Mon Jan 4 07:08:40 MST 2010


Kathy's comments remind me about an incident that happened when I was a
child. My introduction to genealogy was through  my maternal grandmother's
research efforts. After extensive (and old fashioned, slow) research, I
helped her make a huge genealogy chart (entire family-not just direct line
pedigree). I remember the excitement of my grandmother and I showing this
chart to my mother. She looked at it and one of her first comments was you
left Jackie out.

Jacqueline Lea was her first born and her own mother had forgotten to
include her. Grandma was very embarrassed! Of course, I do not remember my
mother talking about her either. My slight knowledge of this sister had been
through those IBM cards that came home from school with large print saying
to not fold or mutilate (so they could be sent through those very early
computers upon return). Questions on the cards concerned how many children
were in the family and how many had died. These came from the school and I
have no idea of their purpose.

We added Jacqueline Lea to our chart, but it is obvious that she had been
forgotten. I still have that chart today and it is a constant reminder to me
of the importance of being as completely accurate as possible in my
research. Mothers do not forget! And I hope that my daughter will not forget
to include my newborn that I lost in my obituary. 

 

Laurie Roberts Caulk

 

From: apgpubliclist-bounces at apgen.org
[mailto:apgpubliclist-bounces at apgen.org] On Behalf Of Kathy Gunter Sullivan
Sent: Saturday, January 02, 2010 4:33 PM
To: APGpubliclist at apgen.org
Subject: Re: [APG Public List] predeceased by infant children

 

I don't think this is a trend in the funeral industry (after all, family
members can control the obituary facts) or necessarily a decision by the
composer as to the importance of those predeceasing the obituary's subject
person. Composing an obituary is a task performed under stress, and presence
of mind isn't always "present."

My Mother lost a child at age nine days when I was seven years old. Many
years later, for a Mother's Day present, Mother's adult children gave her a
ring set with the birthstones of her children, but the infant child had been
overlooked. Eventually, Mother commented that Beth Ellen's birthstone was
absent from her ring. Family members do forget or are too stressed to
include everything in an obituary, but the Mothers don't forget. My Mother's
obituary carefully included Beth Ellen as a child who predeceased her
Mother.

Kathy Sullivan
Charlotte, NC




I suspect that whoever wrote the obituaries just didn't think it was
important to include
those who predeceased the subject of the obituaries.
 
Stephen J. Danko, PLCGS
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------At 06:28 AM 12/23/2009, Ida Ida Skarson
McCormick wrote:
In the case of 2 cousins who died in the last 6 months, one in Michigan and
one in Washington State, I have noticed that although each lost a child in
infancy, neither of those is in the obituary "predeceased by" list. Is this
a trend in the funeral industry?
There is not even an allusion to an "infant son."
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