[APG Public List] [APG Members] Genealogical relationships for adoptee families

[Debra Mieszala]

I am sure I will regret jumping back in. However, I feel that Eileen is correct. 

Think about what is being implied with the love line/blood line terminology. The implication is that a person can only have one or the other. To imply that birth (or blood) parents and family members do not love the children that they are unable to raise is unfair and judgmental, and is not a message to give to a relinquished child.

Perhaps nurturing line would be less harsh. How about simply calling them family? Love needs to be given and felt to be real, not named.

Debbie Mieszala, CG(sm)

--- On Mon, 8/16/10, Jeanette Daniels <jeanettedaniels8667 at yahoo.com> wrote:

From: Jeanette Daniels <jeanettedaniels8667 at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [APG Members] Genealogical relationships for adoptee  families
To: "Ó Dúill Associates" <info at heirsireland.com>, apgpubliclist at apgen.org, "APG Members Only List" <apgmembersonlylist at apgen.org>
Date: Monday, August 16, 2010, 3:08 PM

Eileen,

Sorry you took it wrong.  The idea was for children to identify with the parent or parents who raised them regardless of the "blood" line.  Not all children are raised by loving parents and many have no clue about one side of the family or the other because there is no contact.  That was what the distinction was for.  The program was to help these children get a sense of identity and a love of whatever family they lived in.

Right now my oldest son has a foster child who has been in 16 other homes other than my son, Richard's home.  He is 12 years old.  This boy has some definite problems with his identity.  If Richard and the rest of us in the family can help this boy realize that he can have a supportive family experience with Richard
 and us (Richard's parents and siblings, friends, etc.) we will feel that we have succeeded.  As far as genealogy goes, I will introduce him to the "love line" concept.  I believe that he truly needs it.

Jeanette Daniels
Heritage Genealogical College

From: Ó Dúill Associates <info at heirsireland.com>
To: Jeanette Daniels <jeanettedaniels8667 at yahoo.com>; Kathy Rippel <twinmom22 at cox.net>; APG Members Only List <apgmembersonlylist at apgen.org>
Sent: Mon, August 16, 2010 12:40:12 PM
Subject: Re: [APG Members]
 Genealogical relationships for adoptee  families




 
#yiv1288714159 DIV {
MARGIN:0px;}



Sorry Jeanette but I find the use of the terms 
"blood" line and "love" line as mutually exclusive to be unacceptable in 
genealogy.Is the use of these terms suggesting that there is no "love" in the 
blood line? How can this be construed as a nice distinction? 
 
Most of us like to think our ancestors were in 
love, at least at the time of the marriage. 
 
Eileen
 
 
Eileen M. Ó Dúill, CG
47 Delwood Road
Castleknock
Dublin 
15
Ireland
 
email: info at heirsireland.com
CG, Certified 
Genealogist is a service mark of the Board for Certification of Genealogists 
(USA), used under license by  Board-certified associates after periodic 
competency  evaluations
 
 

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: 
  Jeanette Daniels 
  To: Kathy Rippel ; APG Members Only List 
  Sent: Monday, August 16, 2010 1:41 
  PM
  Subject: Re: [APG Members] Genealogical 
  relationships for adoptee families
  

  
  Kathy and others,

A simple way to trace ancestry is tracing the 
  "blood" lines and tracing the "love" lines.  There was a childrens 
  genealogical program at the public library system in Carlsbad, CA in about 
  2000 where most of the children lived in family situations where divorces and 
  remarriages, etc. found them living with non-biological parents.  So, in 
  order to explain how to trace their genealogy, they used "blood" lines and 
  "love" lines to distinguish who they wanted to trace.  I think that is a 
  nice distinction.

Jeanette Daniels
Heritage Genealogical 
  College

  

  
  
  From: Kathy Rippel 
  <twinmom22 at cox.net>
To: 
  Joan Lowrey <joanlowr at pacbell.net>; 
  apgmembersonlylist at apgen.org
Sent: Mon, August 16, 2010 12:56:44 
  AM
Subject: Re: [APG Members] 
  Genealogical relationships for adoptee families

Other posters 
  have answered this quite well, but I have another 
related 
  example.

My husband (not the father of my children) never had children 
  of his 
own; we married when my children were adults.

However, OUR 
  grandchildren merely know him as "Grandpa" and he is, in 
their eyes, as 
  much (or more so) a real grandparent as any of their 
"biological" 
  grandparents.

When we married he felt odd being when the family started 
  calling him 
"Grandpa", he said the grandson already had grandparents. I 
  pointed 
out that children don't make those distinctions, the more love the 
  
better whether the grandparent (or parent, etc.) is biologically 
  
related or not. Our grandkids have three sets of grandparents and see 
  
nothing odd about it.

We will receive a step-grandson (older than 
  the others) this fall and 
plan to treat him like the other grandsons, as 
  much as he feels comfortable.

When a work on family genealogy I work on 
  my own line, my kids' 
paternal line, my husband's line. Adoptions, 
  step-relationships, and 
other "non-traditional" family relationships are 
  noted with all 
descendants included.

Families are definitely made 
  in the heart. Our families' histories 
must record all the flavors we 
  enjoy!!

Kathy

At 03:04 PM 8/15/2010, Joan Lowrey 
  wrote:
>The following query was forwarded to me by my local 
  society.  I 
>don't have experience with adoptees.  Can any of 
  you provide the answer?
>
>Thank you,
>Joan Neumann 
  Lowrey
>La Jolla, CA
>
>Assume a child is adopted. That 
  child grows to adult hood and has
>children and grandchildren. In 
  genealogical talk, are the adult's
>children and grandchildren related 
  to the adult child's adoptive parents
>and if so, what is the correct 
  terminology and explanation for
>relationship. In my tree, Richard was 
  adopted by Freda and Cris. As an
>adult, Richard married, had two girls, 
  and the girls are married and
>have children. The girls are now 
  inquiring about grandparents Freda and
>Cris and their correct 
  relationship to them and to Cris and Freda's
>parents, 
  etc
>
>
>
>No virus found in this incoming 
  message.
>Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
>Version: 9.0.851 / Virus Database: 
  271.1.1/3074 - Release Date: 
>08/15/10 
  13:35:00






      
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